why do i want so many... sausages???

i was shopping in chinatown today.
had a german saugage...
then wanted more..
so got another and another and another.
so had FOUR in the end!!!
what a pig! yes,
they were pork sausgaes too!
why do i not know when to stop.
it was sooooooo irresistable.
am i weak minded or am i just indulging in a quick fix?
it did leave me satisfied for a while though...
but my stomach was begging me to stop.
i did it... reluctantly.
at times like this, i wish i was a bottomless pit...
so i could eat ALLLLLLL the sausages in the world!!!
hehehehe...

then there will be no pigs left in the world...

why am i sooo greedy.
i have left myself with no more such pleasure

oh what a life

down with a cold... not fun.

went out all day. fun.

now up till late. fun.

had four meals today. not fun. no, was fun.

getting fat!!! not fun.

spoke to a friend on msn today. well , he was my senior at school... well, about 10 - 11 years ago... he now lives in the states. but he was younger than me. no... i am not stupid. just that i went to national service before the course... anyway, he told me he thought i was hot! yoohoo. i used to fancy him, but because he was such a hot stuff at school and all. i didnt say anything. i even sent him home once when he was real drunk and i slept on his floor!!!

why? why didnt i go for it?

but if i did. would it be a happy ending?

...no, we are different. very different.

its funny how you know stuff.

well, at least friends dun break up.

and because we dun see each other's ugly side. we are forever interesting and nice in each other's eyes...

sneeze... sneeze... alrighty, enough crap for today!

gotta go to bed now...

why i learn to fly

when i fly
i see not one in view
when i dive
i lose myself in view

but when i stop to look
i see all things in view

they soar, they dive,
they wonder why
yet only i can understand

thus i just stop to view
and through viewing i then learn

it's not how you move
it's not what you see
it's how you learn to
move when you are still

and how you soar
and how you dive
and how to understand
your view.

so now i sit to learn
to view
to understand the lessons
in my view

i soar, i dive, i wonder why
yet i am still sitting still

it'llcome one day
when i shall understand
when i return
to fly

i shall fly
with wings opened wide
yet understand
why
i shall soar
why
i shall dive
why
why
why
have i come to understand all things in view.

reasons to live...?

how should i know?

i was born and therefore i live.

i live and therefore i die.

a journey started alone, and to end alone.

travelling with many to realise that we are after all...

one.

why search so hard?

why look so far?

why not stop to see and realise we are not so far?

always searching, always looking, but shame, what a shame that we are seldom seeing.

reasons to live

reasons we give

reasons are all we ever give

there is no reason

there need no giving

but there is all for us to live.

Getting used to this...

well, i must get used to writing here...

so... my spaced journey through space was through... now, i am trying to live my physical existence from the lessons i have learned and am still learning.

i am a very confusingly sorted sort of lad... i guess. I know things but then again I wish I knew more... but i am very happy knowing what i know now... for maybe now is the time for only so much to be told.

i am looking forward to my trip to tibet and nepal in march. but then hey i might be locked up or fined lotsa money and be too broke to go as i was not aware that i had to report to cmpb after returning to Singapore in dec 05.

oh well, i have been away about 7 years after all with valid exit permit!!! wish me luck! and i hope you like me enough to wish me good ones!!!

so i am once again jobless... and not proud of it. but i am funny enough really busy! friends are constantly asking me out for meals. and i must thank my friends who feed me while i spend my time learning, healing and reading for people...

well, hopefully one day... we will meet up for a chat... YOU! and who knows what will happen...

My journey through space II

Space is the majority of any existence yet people pursue the minority, physical evidence. We priced our belief and morals on the majority. Yet we priced our physical goods on the minority and the rarity.

We are taught to prove and believe what we see… but seeing is often described as a vision. Is not faith also a vision? To physically see is to reflect another existence yet faith is the reflection of the existence before its physical form.

To see with the eyes and to see with the heart…

What makes a blind man blind when he fails to see with the eyes, yet a man is not blind when he fails to see with the heart? Just because something is tangible does not mean it exists, and what you do not see fails to exist. David Copperfield has ‘made’ many things disappeared. Are they then real? Oh, they are illusions. There is no demanded proof but it is an illusion. Yet a man who tries to build his dream are often said to be crazy till his vision materialized. Then he becomes a genius.

Open your heart, open your mind, reach out to others and reach within yourself.

The reality is only a reflection of the existence already passed. Time is only an essence to hold the existence.

Let the space speak to you and your faith bring it through.

my journey through space

space. there is no limit in space. the vastness of space is how you see it and how much you allow it to come to you... no words can describe my journey yet i am still attempting to write it here... maybe however much i write may reach out to you, even the slightest is more than enough....

...i sat holding her hands with our eyes closed. whats that i asked? a bridge she said... and told me to cross it... i did and my life has changed ever since...

how did she know what i saw? how did we see the same thing in our heads?

... i opened my eyes and was healing him... no lets try this i told her.... how did i know how to heal him?...

ah, it all makes sense... without making sense.

the universe has presented itself to me and yet i had no idea that it was talking to us. it operates through tiny little frequencies and vibrations that we are able to feel only if we relax and let it come to us... and it did. i saw the beginnings of time. the making of the universe. the making of us. and how we connect to each other without even knowing... strange.

i was a born again. the christian would say. the buddhist, enlightened. but just by a touch, a mere stroke across the face... of the surface, that i was...

it is by faith that i have been opened to this new concept that has always existed. a faith that i tried testing yet everythime i tested, i failed. but everytimei believed, i succeeded.

the logic of space is limitless and non bias. it has no real reason for existence yet every reason to exist. there is no ego for nothing is in existence even while existing. there was just love and faith that binds everything together.

now back to my journey... i was healing. then i saw through my healing... the person's life. thus, i developed visions... later, saw spirit and started feeling things.... strange was never a word for me now. conincidence also was abondoned.

now there is cause and effect.

and there is faith and hope in everything.

don't be too literal my friends... dont even try to read between the lines. just be yourself. your REAL self. your TRUE self. and the universe will reach into you most naturally... it may just be a split second but once you have been there... your bridge to the subconcious is building up slowly. you have a choice to continue building it or let others make you forsake it or worse tear it now and mock it...

there is nothing to lose either way. it's just a space for you to explore.... a very informative space.

did i tempt you or did i enlighten you?